The Mansion Crossover Crack
by DarkRyan75
Summary: Crack fiction. Has Gash Zatch Bell, Naruto, D. GrayMan, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist, and others. R&R the craziness.
1. Chapter 1: The Auditions

Look, I know I haven't updated on the Life of Yazoo for a long time, but that's because of school/laziness/interested in more things. That's not saying it will never be updated, just probably won't be until this summer, if at all.

So, a little back story here- I have this RPs with a friend I call Bex, sometimes with other friends like Michael. It is basically crack, and has characters from different shows. They were originally in a Mansion in Brazil, then Japan, then Wisconsin. Thus, the idea for a fanfic came. So, here we all are. It'll pretty much be based on the rps, but in my way. Maybe so co-writing from Bex.

I do not own Naruto, Zatch/Gash Bell, Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man, Disgaea, or any other anime or video games that appear.

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**Chapter 1: The Auditions**

Off in Brazil, there is talking inside of a mansion. A few people are inside signing a contract.

"All right, so, does everyone agree?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, 'tebayo."

"Mhm!"

"Then let's start the auditions." The lights suddenly came on, as a few people are sitting behind a desk. A man with black hair is first, holding a small, blonde boy in a black poncho. Next to him, there is a boy with spikey blonde hair with a black and orange jumpsuit leaning on his chair. In the third seat is a boy with white hair, and in the fourth seat, a boy with an arrow on his head plays with some paper by making a mini tornado on the desk. In the final seat, a boy with blonde hair and a red jacket looks bored and uninterested. On the table, name tags are infront of them, which probably would've been easier on the author to write. From left to right, they read "Kiyomaro Takamine & Gash Bell", "Uzumaki Naruto", "Allen Walker", "Aang", and "Edward Elric".

"Okay, Gash Bell characters, come in one at a time." Kiyo says into a microphone. A line forms infront of them, full of anxious people waiting to be shot down wearing name tags. First up, was Tio. Kiyomaro had readied his voice.

"All right, what are your talents?"

"I'm strong, have a possible love interest for Gash, and I beat the hell out of people when I'm mad?"

"Oh yeah, she definately does that!" Gash peeps in, smiling.

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" Of course, Tio was strangling Gash by now. Kiyomaro had to pull her off.

"You're in, because I want to see him get killed by her, 'tebayo." It was obvious who said that.

"Yay!" Tio smiles and walks off. In short, only Tio, Zeon, Eido, and Dufort got in.

Now, Naruto calls in his cast of characters. "Okay, come on in!" Another line forms, only this time, many people fall through a trap door as soon as they stand in line. "Why'd you get rid of so many?" Allen asks Naruto, sweating.

"Because they were filler characters or canon fodder! We don't even need to interview them, dattebayo!"

"Ah, that explains everything." Allen nods, as they started the interviews. I don't have to tell you how everyone got in, so I'll just tell you who did. Hinata, Gaara, Shikamaru, Neji, Lee, Gai, Kakashi, Sakura, Sasuke (only by bribing the judges), Orochimaru, Gaara, Haku, Death God, Yondaime Hokage, Tsunade, Jiraiya, all of the Akatsuki, another Naruto, Ino, Hayate, Sai, and a lot more. Naruto isn't very picky.

It is Allen's turn to interview his cast. "I'll be sure to add limits on my characters, unlike a certain blonde idiot here.."

"Yep. That kid with those lines really should've stopped picking, 'tebayo." Naruto isn't the brightest one either.

"...Anywho, let's start. Oh great, it's Yu-" Allen is interrupted with a sword pointing at his neck. Obviously, it was Kanda. So, Allen lets him join, along with Rabi, Lenali(Ofcourse, a certain brother wouldn't let her go alone), and Crowley. He had put a big limit on such a small cast of characters already.

Aang grins as he calls in his cast. "C'mon in, guys!" The first one in line was Iroh. "So, why do you think you can be in here?"

"...Because I'm Iroh?" Everyone nods and whispers to each other. They let him in without a doubt. They let Zuko, Katara, Sokka, Toph, and Azula in, because Aang learned from Naruto's mistake of too many people.

Ed sighs and calls in his cast. "Okay, you know the drill F.M.A. characters." Yet another line forms.

"Okay, I don't even need to interview you. Yes, no, no, no, yes, no, no, yes, yes, no, no, no, no.." He went on. He had let him Al, Hughes, Moofy(Wrath), and Winry. Roy had to use some blackmail to get in, and Envy had to use force to get in. Now, you think that everything's over now, right? Haha, no.

"Okay, now for the extras." A line forms again, full of a whole bunch of things, starting with certain blue penguins. "All right... Prinny Squad. Why do you all want to be here?"

"Because we wouldn't have to work for Master Etna, dood!" It is a good reason to them, so they let them in. I'll just go with the remaining winners of getting in.

"Because I don't have a heart, people think I'm emo, I'm a complete mystery, and I'm fun at parties?" Zexion is in.

"We're needed canon fodder for random moments." The Random Innocent Bystanders(RIBs) are in.

"Because I am a Dark Adonis.." Vyers is in, but he only because they can call him Mid-Boss for fun.

"Because I'm a cactaur!" Cactaur, from his looks, is in. They all love to look at him.

Now, the Mansion was started up. The people who couldn't get in are either trapped in a prison or back to their respective shows. Now it's time for the cast to pick their rooms.

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Huzzah. Fear my horrible attempt at crack. It's hard for me to not go between present and past tenses, so, I tried hard to stay in present tense. Also, just for the record, there are clones of characters. Some have yet to appear. There's Gash and Zatch, Zeon and Zeno, Tia and Tio, Itachi, Blind Itachi, and Young Itachi, the two Narutos.. and more characters that might try breaking in, such as Suzy/Suzume. Most characters are out of character. Next chapter is most likely **Chapter 2: Roommates**.


	2. Chapter 2: Roommates

Here's chapter two. Yes, updates take atleast a week or two, but only because school sucks. A lot. Also, I feel the need to say this. I'm going cosplaying this summer. If I can make a Hiruko puppet, then, it'll be godly. Ofcourse, I'm going as Akasuna no Sasori no Danna. And maybe Deidara, if I get the right wig. Two in one!

Again, I do not own any of these characters. Except the RIBs. And maybe a few others. Read and review.

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**Chapter 2: Roommates**

"I want the biggest room, 'tebayo!"

"Over my dead body!"

"Shut up, shorty! You already died in your anime, dattebayo!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT EVEN SHINO WOULD CALL WEAK?!"

"...What?" The chaos is already starting. Naruto and Ed are fighting over the biggest room. Ofcourse, fangirls would set them straight.

"OH EM GEE!! IT'S EDO!"

"NARU-KUN!!"

"YAOI!!!!" And before the two blondes knew what was happening, the fangirls grab them. Ed ends up tied in a chair next to Mustang in the basement, and Naruto... well, let's just say the kitsune is dealing with an emo bird right now. Most FMA characters leave into hiding from this incident, while there are too many Naruto characters to follow. Let's see how the rest of the cast is holding up, shall we?

"Kiyomaro! Let's pick this room!" "No." "Yes!" "No." "YES!" "No." "...You're mean, Kiyomaro!" Gash wants the kitchen for his room. Kiyomaro wants a nice, peaceful room. But, then he thinks to himself. "_No room with Gash is a peaceful room..._" After much quarrelling, and a little 'persuasion' by Tio, they choose to live in the room next to her. Zeon and Dufort are conveniently next door to them as well. Thus, their evil plotting begins...

Let's try following the Akatsuki. "Danna, this room needs more explosives, un!"

"Deidara. Explosives will DESTROY the room."

"Exactly, un! Art is a bang, un!!"

"...That means we wouldn't have a room. We can't turn the room into puppets... let's just buy some modern art portaits."

"But Danna, un... !! Fine, but I get to keep my clay in here, un!"

"Fine, but I get to keep my scrolls and puppets-in-making in here then." Deidara and Sasori chose their room, and quite an artistic room at that. Now two Akatsuki teams argue over a room. Itachi and Kisame win the room, thanks to a little dose of Mangekyou Sharingan on Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan swears at Kakuzu for the rest of the night, until Kakuzu sews his mouth shut.

"Okay, so.. in our gang, we have four people. And Appa and Momo. We have to pick our rooms carefully-"

"I get a room with Katara!"

"I get a room with Iroh!"

"Aww, c'mon!" Aang shares a room with Katara, Toph with Iroh, and Zuko and Azula get their own rooms. Sokka is left alone. "Well, looks like I get the last room alone, guys... Oh, c'mon!!!" Appa and Momo enter the last room and somehow lock the door, which makes Sokka sleep in the animal den.

"Hey, Yu! We get a room!" Rabi relaxs in a chair. That is, until Kanda points his Mugen at his throat. "Calm down, Y-"

"Call me that again, and I kill you."

"...Yu." Rabi is now hanging out the window by his feet. Kanda, of course, knocks him fully out, causing him to fall into the pool below. Allen is glad not to be sharing a room with Kanda. Komui shares a room with his sister, Lenali, and Allen shares a room with Crowley. In the end, everyone has a room. And Sokka sleeps in some hay. Everybody wins! Now, tomorrow, they must assign chores.

"...Help... Anyone...? Sasuke-teme, where'd you go...? ...Uh-oh-" Sasuke stripped the blonde kitsune of all of his clothing, and was now behind him in a dark room...

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See? I was able to finish a second chapter! Just for the record, I have no clue how this will finish. So... yeah. I know I'll try to draw scenes I like, or other people like, and post them on dA. So... well, here ya go. The Akatsuki are so fun to control. 'Specially Sasori and Deidara. They're like, the best team ever. ARTISTS FOR THE WIN. Next chapter will be **Chapter 3: Chores Wheel**.


	3. Chapter 3: Chores Wheel

I'll have this done by Saturday if it kills me. Right now, it's 7:37 PM, Saturday. Did I put any work to it at all this week? Nope. But, I usually start on Saturdays and try finishing it on the same day. So... yeah. Read it and review.

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**Chapter 3: Chores Wheel**

And now, in our peaceful little mansion, there are yells going throughout the halls. Ed and Roy were missing, while the rest are quarrelling over chores.

"You get laundry!"

"No, you do, white-hair!"

"I get to clean the bathrooms!"

"SHUT UP, TOBI." Of course, they could not come to the answer on their own. Then, their savior arrives. With his magnificient black robes, red clouds, and blonde hair, he rolls a wheel into the room. "DEIDARA-SEMPAI!"

"Tobi, you just ruined the moment, un!" Yeah, okay. It's no one special, just Deidara.

"Yeah, ignoring how the narrator kept describing you, what the hell is this wheel for?" Sokka's question for Deidara, though breaking the fourth wall, was a good one. Atleast, to Deidara.

"It's a chores wheel! With it, we can decide who does what chores, un!" Some people are impressed. Deidara pulls out a smaller version, and places it above the door. "We can write down the results here, un! You see, I was out to the store, un. But, when I thought I was buying cheese wheels, I bought chores wheels, un!"

"Just spin the damn thing!" And so, the spinning has begun.

Main characters are allowed to spin first. Aang, with his name being first in alphabetical order, spins first. "Be something fit for an Avatar!" Toilet cleaning. Allen shoves the shocked Aang out of the way, so he could see what he gets. "C'mon, something gooood..." He gets grocery shopping. He is mildly pleased, as shopping needs no physical labor. The author should know, he has to help shop 80 percent of the time. Next WOULD be Ed, but, with his disappearance, Kiyomaro goes. He glares, seeing that he has to vacuum the downstairs. Naruto spins next. "C'mon, dattebayo... NANI?!" Sasuke, using his Sharingan hax, managed to make it so he lands on "Being Sasuke's Uke". He, being the slow one that he is, does not realize that this isn't possible. Naruto is then carried off. Gash is smart. "For once". Shut up, Zeon. I don't need you breaking the fourth wall either. "Well, you're talking to me now, so..." Touche. Anyway, Gash claims that it is against child labor laws. No one bothers to check, so they just accept it. They then realized they weren't in complete alphabetical order because Deidara forgot that Gash wasn't Zatch.

After Rei manages to pull some strings, Akatsuki goes next. Again, they do it alphabetically. Deidara spins "I got... puppet polisher, un?" Sasori couldn't help but smirk. "Looks like I won't need to bother polishing myself or my others anymore." Hidan knocks Deidara out of the way, and prays. "Oh Jashin-sama, please let me get something good... Community Service?! Why would I give a fuck about the community?!" I'm not sure if that's even a chore, but it's Itachi's turn now. Using the Mangekyou Sharingan hax, he just had Deidara put down "Itachi needs no chore, un. PLEASE STOP KILLING THE ART, UN!!" Kakuzu takes the wheel. "Treasurer, c'mon...!!" He was not happy. "What do you mean, pool cleaner?! We live in a forest, I am not cleaning all that stuff out!" Hidan pats him on the shoulder smirking, and they walk away. Kisame had spun without saying anything. He had to replace lightbulbs, which wasn't THAT bad. Now, Rei, the all-mighty Akatsuki leader, spins the wheel. "Now, what did I get? Did I get cleaning the windows? No I didn't, Deidara. I got the 'Gets paid or Deidara loses his job' choice." And that he did. Sasori spins the wheel. "Now, I got... making clay. You actually have to MAKE clay?" This was ironic, they work on the other's art styles. Tobi jumps on the wheel. They just gave him all of the above. Zetsu spins the wheel, and gets gardner. He was happy. The unknown member got some chore no one cares about until she makes an appearance during the manga.

Now for Aang's group. Azula spins first! "Now, being the royalty that I am, GARBAGE DUTY IS NOT FOR ME." Deidara had already marked down Garbage Duty for Azula, thus there was no changing. Time for the lovable Iroh. "Ah, this should be good..." It stops on the Death Sentence. Then it moves again, and says 'Chef'. "Ah, that was a close one..." Katara takes the stage and spins. "Daycare. Who do we have here who needs Daycare besides the Mamodos?" Ah, if only she knew of Zexion's 14 children... Sokka just shoves her off. "Something good, something good!" Toilet cleaning. "But Aang already has that duty!" Deidara still marks it down, crossing off Aang's name. Aang rejoices. Toph just spun it. Then walked away. "I claim what that kid did. Besides, you expect a blind person to do chores?" And thus, being a smart one, Toph got out of chores. Last, but not least, Zuko. He spins, he gets 'Chef's Assistant', ironically. Iroh does not mind at all.

Allen's group. Crowley spins first! And he gets to vacuum the second floor. Kanda spins. "WHAT?! Clean Rabi's feet?!" Rabi couldn't help but grin. He used his all-mighty Exorcist powers to make that happen. And happen, it shall. "What are you, Yoda?" Shut it, Rabi. Now for Komui. "Oohh, I get to be a doctor..." Now no one wants to get hurt. Ever. Now, Lenali. "Ooh. I get to make sure that Allen buys all the right stuff at the store." No, really. I forgot Allen had grocery shopping when I thought this out. Now, for the lovable Rabi. "I have an eyepatch, I'm disabled!" "DISABLED MY ASS!!!" It took four people to hold back Kanda. Thus, Rabi didn't have any chores. Now for the Gash Bell group. Tio and Zeon used Gash's excuse, and Dufort got to eat hot dogs. When it was Eido's turn to spin... "All right! Janitor!" He then puts on his Scruffy look, sits on a chair, and reads magazines.

Time for Ed's group. Al spins the wheel. "Third floor vacuuming? How many floors do we have?" Envy's turn. "Oi, I'm a homunculus. I do not NEED to do chores." Hughes backs away. "Hey, I'm dead. I don't do chores." Something tells me not many F.M.A. characters will do chores. Moofy's turn. "Uh... what the other kids said?" Oh, Moofy, you sly dog. Lastly, we have Winry. "Spin!... Ed's bitch?! Oh no, put me down as mechanic or I kill you, blondie!!!" Deidara let her be mechanic. What about all those other chores, you ask? They gave them to the Prinnies. Ah, the joys of Prinnies. They put some of the work on Mid-Boss. Zexion was exempt for being nothing, thus does no chores. And all the other Naruto characters I didn't get to? I didn't get to them yet. Because... there's just too many, okay?!

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Huzzah. It's 10:53 PM. I was watching Naruto for a half an hour, so take that time off. Woo. Yeah, I should've thought of the consequences of having that many characters, but I didn't. So, yeah. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, NARUTO. And the 14 babies of Zexion, you ask? Long story short, he is the whore of the Organization. You think someone else had the babies? Ha. Haha. No. Male Pregnancies are evil, but funny. Hell, Larxene forced Zexion to have their child so she wouldn't ruin her body. And Zexion was the surrogate mother of Axel's and Roxas's love child, making 13 babies all together. But what of the 14th, you ask? Demyx came back a second time. Cough. ANYWAY. Next chapter will be... Pssh. I don't know. **Chapter 4: Time for Dinner**, maybe?


End file.
